oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
