1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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