This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
