Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
