I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
