The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
