Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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