Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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