So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
