Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
