That's intense
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So squirting runs in the family.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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