Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
