no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
