Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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