How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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