Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
