she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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