Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
