So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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