Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
