My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
