when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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