He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
