Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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