All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
