Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
