this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
