"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
