Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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