thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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