I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
