my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
