I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
the raccoons are back...
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