she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
