just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
