She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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