Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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