redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
