oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
