He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
