i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
