The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
