i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
