OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
A bitchslap is in order.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
