their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
