last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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