Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
