ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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