I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
