i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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