did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
