Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
