no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
