So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I intend to get homeless drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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